


Blank Thoughts

by mysnowbelle



Category: Kamen Rider Build
Genre: Gen, Spoilers for episode 21, but yeah you know what happens next, he was not really an antagonist, not really major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 01:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13583226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysnowbelle/pseuds/mysnowbelle
Summary: Mental diary for Sento as he goes through the consequences of his actions.





	Blank Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Sento POV

_I need to stop him from getting hurt. He should not have to go through this because of me. This war is my fault and it's my responsibility to end it before it hurts more people._

I hold the Hazard Trigger in my hands and for an object that can cause great destruction, it is very small and looks underwhelming. This is the only thing that can stop Banjo from hurting himself more but is it worth the consequences? Thinking back to Katsuragi's files, he warned of how dangerous using it can be and the possibility of losing myself. What that means exactly is still a mystery to me. But then I remember the people getting hurt in the initial attack by Hokuto, I am the only one who can do something to try and end it. The consequences of this "forbidden item" must be dangerous but the people of Touto need Build now and I made that promise to Misora to protect our home. 

**HAZARD ON**

"I am going to stop you. No matter what it cost's me!"

I place in the the belt with the bottles that suit me best and I finally transform. As soon as the armor forms on me, I can already feel the power it has given me.

_With this, I can fight too._

* * *

 

I run in and fight but my main concern is to stop Banjo from bringing the war to Hokuto. I plead with him but unsurprisingly he does not listen to me. I tried to get some sense knocked in to him but he kept insisting to end the war himself. I managed to kick him away but then I realized something was wrong. I started to feel this shadow trying to creep up on me and my mind is slowly going blank.

_Is this what happens if this is used too much? This is what my past self was referring to?_

The cold shadow started to wrap itself around me and I started losing my vision. I tried to fight back but the cold darkness is to strong on my mind and I black out.

* * *

 

When I came to, I noticed I was on the ground with Banjo and apparently knocked out of my transformation by Grease. Some time has passed but I have no memory of the past fight. All I see is one of the Hazard Smashes wounded and Grease over him with fear in his voice. Putting the pieces together I came to a grim realization. I watched as one of the crows faded away and I knew that I was the one killed him. I put my hands to my head trying to organize all my thoughts going to my head.

_He died._

_I lost control._

_What happened while I was out?_

_I thought I was just stopping their fight._

_This was not supposed to happen._

_I killed someone._

* * *

 

With so many things going on, I failed to realize that Banjo got me up and we made our way back to the cafe. Both Misora and Sawa no doubt waiting to make sure we come home. I look up at Banjo but the expression he had was not something I wanted to see.

"Did I kill him?" I said hoping his look was not true.

He only looked away from him giving me the silence I did not want to hear. Everything fell around me and I see that the ground is getting closer to me but I don't have the strength to stop myself from falling. The darkness creeps up on me but its not the same as before. Its even more cold in this world that I don't even feel Misora's warmth by my side. I can only stare at the ground as thats the only thing that I can see.

* * *

 

I lost track of time I spent in my room. The war is probably still waging on the surface but the safety of this basement is much more comforting and safe from someone like me. The government has not contacted me since and that's probably for the best. Being up there, I could be a threat more dangerous that Hokuto's army. I keep getting flashbacks of his death. But only that as the rest of my memory eludes me. The missing time is what I want to know most as that's what will tell me what exactly happened, but that was the price I had to pay. Immense power at the cost of my sanity. 

* * *

 

Misora came down to tell me that Prime Minister Himuro wishes to speak with me. Knowing that he made a personal visit, he must want me to fight once more. I wonder how many bottles have been taken at this point. She urges me to go upstairs to meet him but I know that I am not going to like the request so I stand my ground in the basement. With surprising strength, she manages to pull me upstairs and lead me to a chair with our guest.

Not surprised that he asks me to fight to protect Touto and as its representative in a one-on-one fight with Grease. He begs me to fight to prevent more casualties but I know if I go, those might be caused by own weak self. That talk reminded me of that memory once again and I just had to get out of there before things got worse.

* * *

 

I initially had no destination but I felt that I needed to beg for forgiveness to the man I murdered. I bought some flowers and made my way to the site. I began praying and asking for forgiveness that I know I don't deserve until I heard a voice. I looked up to see Aoba himself and it made me lose my mind. I was overcome with grief and guilt until I heard someone come by. Looking up I saw it was Grease who had the same idea of paying respects to the fallen. He of all people should not forgive me for what I have done to his comrade. I begged him to hit me, to kick me, to do anything until he was satisfied. He would not do it preferring to do that during the representative battle.

I can't fight though. Grease himself might be another casualty that I caused. No matter how strong he is, my hazard form is to unpredictable to allow use. He tells me that Aoba dying was not my fault and that he is just a cost of war, but the tone of his voice did not hide the anger and hate that he had towards me. He left knowing that I had a choice. Fight him to end the war or sit around doing nothing again and let them take my home.

* * *

 

Master called me hoping to talk but knowing his alliances, it's not going to be a pleasant conversation. He began mocking me that we are just weapons and that any casualties were just weapons breaking and can be replaced. He reminds me that Banjo is just going to go in my place if I refuse and be hit with terrible consequences afterward. He won't win as he is now and he will try anyway because he blames himself for what happened. With all these going on, I really don't know what to do. Master said that I can win with the right help and gives me a case of full bottles to use to get stronger. Master transforms in to Stalk and speaks with that mocking voice to convince me to fight. It is very fitting that he used that voice to persuade me. It's better than hearing the voice of my father figure tell me to fight in the war. It's easier to forget that they are the same person but only a little bit. 

I get up with shaky resolve to get stronger but before I can transform I am pulled from reality in to my thoughts. Images pass by ranging from Aoba's death, to my realization, to Banjo himself. I realize that there is no other way to stop people from getting hurt without fighting especially in the war. If I want to do something, then I have to stand up and fight myself. That's the only way and if that's the cost, then I have no choice but to deal with it myself.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it is weird and has too many line breaks. I'm trying a new writing style and it might be OOC. Please tell me how to improve so I can make more better quality work.


End file.
